Everything you ever wanted to know about the 9/11 conspiracy theory in under 5 minutes.
On the morning of September 11, 2001, 19 men armed with boxcutters directed by a man on dialysis in a cave fortress halfway around the world using a satellite phone and a laptop directed the most sophisticated penetration of the most heavily-defended airspace in the world, overpowering the passengers and the military combat-trained pilots on 4 commercial aircraft before flying those planes wildly off course for over an hour without being molested by a single fighter interceptor.
These 19 hijackers, devout religious fundamentalists who liked to drink alcohol, snort cocaine, and live with pink-haired strippers, managed to knock down 3 buildings with 2 planes in New York, while in Washington a pilot who couldn’t handle a single engine Cessna was able to fly a 757 in an 8,000 foot descending 270 degree corskscrew turn to come exactly level with the ground, hitting the Pentagon in the budget analyst office where DoD staffers were working on the mystery of the 2.3 trillion dollars that Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld had announced “missing” from the Pentagon’s coffers in a press conference the day before, on September 10, 2001.
Luckily, the news anchors knew who did it within minutes, the pundits knew within hours, the Administration knew within the day, and the evidence literally fell into the FBI’s lap. But for some reason a bunch of crazy conspiracy theorists demanded an investigation into the greatest attack on American soil in history.
The investigation was delayed, underfunded, set up to fail, a conflict of interest and a cover up from start to finish. It was based on testimony extracted through torture, the records of which were destroyed. It failed to mention the existence of WTC7, Able Danger, Ptech, Sibel Edmonds, OBL and the CIA, and the drills of hijacked aircraft being flown into buildings that were being simulated at the precise same time that those events were actually happening. It was lied to by the Pentagon, the CIA, the Bush Administration and as for Bush and Cheney…well, no one knows what they told it because they testified in secret, off the record, not under oath and behind closed doors. It didn’t bother to look at who funded the attacks because that question is of “little practical significance“. Still, the 9/11 Commission did brilliantly, answering all of the questions the public had (except most of the victims’ family members’ questions) and pinned blame on all the people responsible (although no one so much as lost their job), determining the attacks were “a failure of imagination” because “I don’t think anyone could envision flying airplanes into buildings ” except the Pentagon and FEMA and NORAD and the NRO.
The DIA destroyed 2.5 TB of data on Able Danger, but that’s OK because it probably wasn’t important.
The SEC destroyed their records on the investigation into the insider trading before the attacks, but that’s OK because destroying the records of the largest investigation in SEC history is just part of routine record keeping.
This man never existed, nor is anything he had to say worthy of your attention, and if you say otherwise you are a paranoid conspiracy theorist and deserve to be shunned by all of humanity. Likewise him, him, him, and her. (and her and her and him).
Osama Bin Laden lived in a cave fortress in the hills of Afghanistan, but somehow got away. Then he was hiding out in Tora Bora but somehow got away. Then he lived in Abottabad for years, taunting the most comprehensive intelligence dragnet employing the most sophisticated technology in the history of the world for 10 years, releasing video after video with complete impunity (and getting younger and younger as he did so), before finally being found in a daring SEAL team raid which wasn’t recorded on video, in which he didn’t resist or use his wife as a human shield, and in which these crack special forces operatives panicked and killed this unarmed man, supposedly the best source of intelligence about those dastardly terrorists on the planet. Then they dumped his body in the ocean before telling anyone about it. Then a couple dozen of that team’s members died in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan.
If you have any questions about this story…you are a batshit, paranoid, tinfoil, dog-abusing baby-hater and will be reviled by everyone. If you love your country and/or freedom, happiness, rainbows, rock and roll, puppy dogs, apple pie and your grandma, you will never ever express doubts about any part of this story to anyone. Ever.
In defence of freedom of speech, freedom of thought, freedom of expression and freedom to access information
Some want us to believe that:
“Restricting the boundaries of discussion expands Knowledge”,
“Crucifying intellectuals is Progressive”
“Shunning people for their thoughts and opinions is Revolutionary”
“Thinking independently is very Dangerous”
“Reading many sources affects the protocols of Health and Safety”
“Framing the Debate is Good… very very good”,
“Gagging is strategically crucial for gaining Wisdom”
“Suppressing of Information helps to uncover the Truth”
“Revising Historical narratives is a Crime, and should be Punished by Law”
“Following the Evidence is a Conspiracy Theory”
“Investigating a Crime is not Helpful, it’s a Distraction”
“Crying against Racism and Supremacy is anti-Semitism”
“Exposing the power-elite is Racist”
“Thought Terrorism leads to Truth and Justice” (somehow, eventually) !
And of course, “no mater what, the Earth is still Flat, flat as a thin crispy pancake”
All you have to do is to Believe!
Otherwise face the consequences of your “blasphemy and wickedness”, be prepared for the burning of your reputation at the stake of their Omniscience, and be prepared for the crucifying of your character at the altar of their omnipotence and self-righteousness.
Iran’s nuclear chief has questioned the impartiality of the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) and its silence towards the deployment of hundreds of nuclear warheads in Europe.
“The agency claims to be impartial, but is it really impartial? If it is then why does it keep silent on the deployment of hundreds of nuclear warheads on European soil and some occupied countries and not [even] submit a report to international organizations like the UN? Head of Iran’s Atomic Energy Organization (IAEO) Fereydoun Abbasi queried on Monday.
Abbasi made the remarks at the IAEA’s General Conference in Vienna.
The Iranian official demanded answers to questions such as why the agency is silent on the missing nuclear material in the US and who is in possession of the said nuclear material.
He went on to caution that the health of US and international community is in danger.
Earlier this month the US Government Audit Office (GAO) reported that the government is unable to account for the whereabouts of 16,000 kg of weapons-grade nuclear material.
The material in question was distributed to 27 countries over several decades.
“The selective approaches of the IAEA, particularly towards developing countries, and by showing diversion in their activities, have so far paved the way for the imposition of economic sanctions and military attacks against these countries,” Abbasi added.
The United States, Israel and their allies accuse Iran of pursuing military objectives in its nuclear program.
As a signatory to the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty and a member of the International Atomic Energy Agency, Iran maintains that it has the right to develop and acquire nuclear technology for peaceful purposes.
WASHINGTON, DC – House Democratic Whip Steny H. Hoyer Hoyer (MD) led a letter that was signed by 58 House Democrats including Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi, Ranking Member on the House Foreign Affairs Committee Howard Berman, and Ranking Member on the Appropriations State and Foreign Operations Subcommittee Nita Lowey that is being sent to 40 key European heads of state today, urging them to stand with the United States in opposing unilateral action by the Palestinian Authority at the United Nations. In their letter, the members warn that there may be “devastating consequences for the peace process” should the Palestinians proceed unilaterally, and they make clear that direct negotiations are the only path forward to a just and lasting peace. The letter cites further risks of acting unilaterally, including the potential for violence on the ground and a reconsideration of U.S. assistance to the Palestinian Authority.
“We share with our friends and allies a determination to see this conflict ended peacefully,” Hoyer said. “Voting together to oppose unilateral steps that set peace back would strongly reaffirm our common commitment to this shared goal and to the longstanding principle enshrined in the Oslo Accords that both parties ought to reach a solution through direct negotiations. Quite fundamentally, it would be an expression of our common values.”
“Realizing the goal of two states, living side-by-side in peace and security, is only possible through direct talks – not in the halls of the UN General Assembly,” Pelosi said. “A vote for Palestinian statehood will not advance the peace process; it will impede it. The nations of the world must make it clear: a lasting peace cannot be imposed on Israel or the Palestinian people – it can only be negotiated between the parties themselves.”
“This is a historic moment in the Middle East. An inflammatory UN resolution, particularly one that unleashes international legal action against Israel, will put Middle East peace prospects on hold for years, if not decades,” Berman said. “We are counting on our friends and allies to stand with us at this critical time.”
Below is the full text of the letter:
We write on a matter of great urgency, on the eve of the United Nations General Assembly meeting. It is our understanding that the leadership of the Palestinian Authority will pursue a resolution at the United Nations – in either or both the Security Council and the General Assembly – to grant the Palestinians the equivalent of statehood and/or prejudge final issues, including borders and the status of Jerusalem. One of the major goals of this effort is for the Palestinians to better position themselves to petition the International Criminal Court, very possibly bogging down the court for the foreseeable future.
It is our strong belief that such unilateral action would have devastating consequences for the peace process and the Palestinians themselves. Accordingly, we urge you in the strongest terms not to support this effort.
We believe that the only way to achieve a two-state solution is through direct negotiations leading to a peace treaty fully accepted by both governments and by both peoples. A just and lasting peace cannot and must not be imposed on the parties. If the Palestinians pursue such a unilateral approach, it violates the letter and spirit of the Oslo Accords and will deal a significant blow to future negotiations. Given the expectations gap among the Palestinian public, such action could lead to widespread violence on the ground, jeopardizing the West Bank’s impressive economic and security gains over recent years. There is also a substantial risk of more broadly inflaming the region and increasing violence at a time of already great instability. Finally, the United States will reconsider its assistance program for the Palestinian Authority and other aspects of U.S.-Palestinian relations if they choose to pursue such a unilateral effort.
We are confident that your government shares the United States’ commitment to a comprehensive resolution of the conflict between the Israelis and the Palestinians. That outcome can only be achieved through direct negotiations. A vote on a unilateral UN resolution will likely set prospects for peace back years.
Our bilateral relationship is based on certain fundamental values. We urge you to vote those values, and to stand with the United States in not supporting unilateral action at the UN that would impede the peace we all seek.
Thank you for your consideration of our views.
Steny H. Hoyer, Democratic Whip
Nancy Pelosi, Democratic Leader
Howard Berman, Ranking Member on the House Foreign Affairs Committee
Nita Lowey, Ranking Member on the Appropriations State and Foreign Operations Subcommittee
Henry Waxman, Ranking Member of the House Energy and Commerce Committee
Eleanor Holmes Norton
C. A. Dutch Ruppersberger
Debbie Wasserman Schultz